listens to other patrons' orders. When it's her turn, she asks the barista, "What's your favorite thing on the menu?"
Childhood taught her that everyone was on their own. She wanted to break that pattern. She wanted to rescue everyone; she wanted to help, but she had no notion of saving herself.
Sitting with her coffee, she mindlessly scrolls through a feed, feeling isolated and alone. She comes across a post: "Love yourself, and so will everyone else." Love herself? Love was for pouring out to others. She believed if she were geneours enough, somebody someday would give back. It was her mission to earn the love her younger self never received.
In her relationships, she hyperfixates on the other people's needs, fulfilling their desires without them ever having to ask. Leading people to become lazy and entitled. She would sing their praises until her voice cracked. She pulled the strings behind the scenes, while they perceived themselves as Kings.
The day came when doing too little for herself became too much. Her wounds compiled, and her mind cracked. She no longer recognized who looked back. Her heart's flame could light a million candles with its fire until it went out. She'd finally lost herself.
She wakes up in a sterile room with a toxic sensation. A woman in white appears at her side, holding a tray of food, and she is encouraged to eat. "You need nourishment," she says with a smile and eyes filled with stress, wandering someplace else. The food is like cardboard and leaves her feeling sick.
A person lies in the bed next to her. Their bedside table is full of gifts and cards offering well wishes.
Her table is empty. After all that she's given, she has nothing to receive. She nearly died to understand this, but now she knows what it means to save yourself.