In life's passage, I find myself stuck at the starting line.
The last few years have felt like an eternal road of fog. I move forward, only to realize that what lies ahead is a mirage—a destination shaped by my hopes and desires, yet always out of reach. Life's efforts seem never-ending, and though my heart longs to move forward, my feet remain rooted to the ground, while my mind races toward the person I strive to become. What a shame it is that my life is led by delusion.
My journey to adulthood has taken me by storm—an unanticipated awakening.
It all started with a knock.
At first, it was faint- a distant tap, soft yet desperate, ticking at the edge of my mind. I ignored it. But it grew persistent. Harder. Louder. Demanding to be let in. Until it pounded against my chest—my heart quivered.
I opened the door.
My mind raced, tripping over my frantic heart, but my feet betrayed me, frozen in place. Creeping in, a dark figure peeked over the parted door. There it stood. A tall, familiar shadow, darkness clinging to it like a companion, dimming all that surrounded. A presence that swallowed me whole. One I dared not acknowledge, an intrusion I prayed to escape. Yet, at this very moment, it seems to no avail.
Ignoring my displeasure it barged in unwelcomed, creeping into every corner of my being. Its army crowded in, leaving barely any space for air. Greedy, they settled into the creases of my mind.
"You're not good enough," it whispered.
I should have known. Anxiety never knocks just once.
Breathless and suffocated, I succumb to my fate. Engulfed entirely, my surroundings vanish and my mirage of hope fades. Alone, I am left with endless layers of darkness
I once believed that these were the years of salvation, the time when the seeds I planted would finally bloom. But now I wonder...... Were they ever meant to grow at all?
Perhaps I had been watering illusions, nurturing dreams with fragile roots. Or maybe—just maybe—the storm has only delayed the harvest.
I cling to a promise: With hardship comes ease. Perhaps this darkness, too, holds a glimmer of light.